turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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