I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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