I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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