You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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