also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
