gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have demons in me.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The best revenge is premature balding
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
