Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
