Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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