thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
