You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize