i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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