They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
