so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize