I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
