I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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