You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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