plz talk dirty to me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
