she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
