I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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