i just had sex bonerless
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
