Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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