sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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