id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
