you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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