"it" just moved
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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