Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize