So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
