The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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