I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
