accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
