maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
