Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
