They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
