I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
