Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize