Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
