We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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