I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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