I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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