I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
