I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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