Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
