I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
3pm strippers are depressing
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
