somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I puked a lego.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
