can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
