we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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