talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
