SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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