Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
