? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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