bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
