You really coming over, don't trick.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
