I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Dick very happy bro
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
