I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
