can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How naked do you want me to be?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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