I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
