Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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