hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
