I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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