If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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