Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
