She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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